my braain needs a break. goodnight guys <3

i have too many decisions to make and i dont know what to do. 

uggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

inpatient next week? no, right? maybe? i dont know! NO. im too fat. too fat for an eating disorder. thats the eating disorder talking. does ashley need it? who cares. im not sick enoough. i can keep lying. eating disorder is more important. no, health is. ugh. being skinny is. CAN I STOP THINKING. honestly. this battle in my head could continue on like this for hours. i dont know ): 

a nursing assistant job i applied for called last night. i should call back right? but what if i end up in the hospital next week. then id screw them over. should i wait and call back next week, but then what if they hire someone else. i dont know. i cant help people if im sick myself, but i could act fine. act.. no, im fine. im too fat to be sick. what the heck. why am i even considering it. i dont know i dont know! i cant make choices. should i use my “dbt skills” and get myself in wise mind. I DONT KNOW. fuck. )’: